Divorcing Parents Can Choose To Be Civil


Although negative feelings naturally surround the dissolution of most marriages, North Carolina parents calling it quits must consider how their behavior could impact their children. A social psychologist who works with divorcing parents advises people to strive to control hostility and achieve an amicable resolution. By reducing disputes and focusing on issues like parenting plans, parents could forge a new structure for their family that supports positive relationships with their children.

Since the 1990s, psychologists have identified five categories that describe the type of post-divorce relationships that emerge among parents. The spectrum begins with caring and cooperative ex-spouses who focus on their children and ends with a complete discontinuation of any contact between parents. The names given these groups are perfect pals, cooperative colleagues, angry associates, fiery foes and dissolved duos.

During a counseling session with a family mediator, two people could gain a safe place to discuss the future of their children. The mediator will strive to hold the parents to a standard of civil discussion and urge them to choose a friendly tone for their divorce instead of clinging to past resentment. In this setting, the parents might reach a mutual agreement about many issues, including a child custody schedule and the terms of a parenting plan that addresses ongoing events like school events, holidays and coordination of child care.

The end of a marriage can be stressful, but it is important for parents to let their young children know that they will continue to be loved just as much as when their parents were together. Family law attorneys will remind their clients that a parenting plan should be designed with the children’s best interests as the foremost objective.